Insights and advice

Financial infidelity rarely appears in the dramatic ways people imagine. It almost never arrives as a single shocking moment. Instead, it grows quietly inside relationships that look loving and stable from the outside. The damage begins long before the truth comes to light. What makes financial betr...

You know your patterns. You know your attachment style. You understand your window of tolerance. You have built boundaries and stopped abandoning yourself. Yet when life gets hard, or someone is disappointed in you, you still end up doing the emotional labor. You collapse or you over-function. Your ...

You are not frigid. You are fried.

I say this to women with super traits every week. You are not frigid. You are fried. When you have empathy, loyalty, responsibility, and hard work wired into your nervous system, you build your entire relationship around him. You center his moods, his stress, his ...

After the birth of my daughter, there was a tear that never healed properly. The doctor said to wait until my next baby and repair it all at once. It sounded reasonable at the time. My daughter just turned five. I realized I had been tolerating pain in my body for years because it felt easier to kee...

You may identify with being an empath. You have always been a natural caretaker. You feel things so deeply it hurts sometimes. You are caring, intuitive, and compassionate. Having high empathy is one of the super traits that many women have, but when empathy exists without boundaries and power, it i...

I speak to high-achieving women with super traits every single day, and there is this collective desire to let it all go, to relax, to be led, to surrender.

When you have over-functioned, when you have worked so hard that you have become the crusty wife, the point person, the one everyone calls to ...

I can still see the look on her face. Another woman in her forties, sitting across from me, was convinced something was wrong. She couldn’t focus. She lost words mid-sentence. Everything felt foggy. She was sure it had to be her hormones or her thyroid. Some worried it was early dementia.

These wer...

Responsibility Isn’t Sexy

You were praised for being the responsible one. You were the girl who got straight A’s, who remembered birthdays, who picked up what others dropped. That praise felt like love, but it was never love for you. It was love for what you did. Responsibility became your safety a...

The truth about what’s really draining high-achieving women

 Most women try to fix their relationships or fix themselves. My work isn’t about fixing or forcing intimacy. It’s about rewiring what made you believe depletion was love in the first place. High-achieving women with super traits have been...

Male Centered Love and Relationships

Something so simple but yet so hard for my high-achieving clients to accept is that we were taught male-centered love, male-centered relating, male-centered sex. I wrote an entire book about this for the sex part with the Pink Canary. Heterosexual partnerships, ...