#336 Stop People Pleasing & Become a "Turned-On" Woman

Superwomen, I want to talk about being a turned-on woman. How to be a receiver, because receivers are turned on. You know when we're in our high-achieving, fix-it, crusty mode, with the pleasure centers in our brain off, and we'd rather do anything other than be intimate.

Receivers have done our work; we've walked the pleasure path; we've learned that all of our super traits and our over-giving, people-pleasing habits might not actually be serving us. They make us successful, but they're not that useful in sex and love. Go figure.

Even if we've had the most stressful day, putting out fires at work, our turn-ons are never that far away. We have a recipe. We know our bodies, how we like to be touched, and how that changes through our monthly cycle, or if we're in perimenopause or menopause. We know the context that turns us on because most of us have responsive desire. And that's okay. That's totally normal. But receivers, we're feral as fuck for the right people.

So here are tips for our feral girl summer. Tips for turning on, and they're not what you think. It's not about taking a bath and getting a massage, because we know those things don't work, or else you wouldn't be reading this.

The first thing we are going to do is stop making decisions based on how they will make you look, because when we have super traits, we always have our attention focused on what other people think. So we are going to start making decisions for the fuck yes. Some choices are made because they feel good in our stomachs and pelvic floor, and we might not be able to explain it other than that it feels right.

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Disappear When Things Feel Off, Stay When It's Delightful

We are disappearing or matching effort when things start to feel off, especially in dating and in jobs and careers we are overgiving to. It is okay to cut things off. It is okay to give less. If we want space for our turn-on, our creativity, our peace, our health, and our pleasure, we have to stop over-giving to things that do not give back. We're leaving a party when we're bored. We're staying longer when we're delighted and when it feels good.

Speak Your Mind, Then Stop Over-Explaining

Something else receivers do that other women do not is that we speak our minds. Give people something to stare at. Talk about the good, the bad, and the ugly of your relationship. But be real. People are gonna stare, people are gonna judge. But that's another thing receivers have stopped doing. They've stopped having any fucks to give about what other people think.

That being said, we're also not over-explaining, because this is a super trait thing. We want to set a boundary, and we rewrite the email 10-20 times. We want to say no to something, and we're qualifying it with 10 extra sentences that don't need to be there.

So even though I want you to share deeply and be so real that people stare, because that's authenticity and that is a turn-on, I also want you to stop over-explaining yourself. Keep some things a little closer to your chest. A little mystery is good for the soul.

Be Turned On When You're Turned On

Another thing receivers do for their turn-on is not act in ways they don't feel. So many of us had to show up and perform at the same level every single day, at work, at home. Receivers, feral women, feral with sovereignty, can be turned on when they're turned on.

We're wild, free, feral when we feel that way. I'm a cyclical being, and how I feel is changing from week to week. Sometimes it's cuddles and foot rubs. Sometimes it's booking a last-minute trip.

The way most women with super traits have sex is the same note every single day, because we're trying to please the other person, and that is fucking boring. But we can keep them guessing, and the good ones, the men we allow access to us, are the ones who are gonna keep up.

They don't necessarily get it when last week you were absolutely unstoppable, and this week you're in a cocoon on the couch. They don't get it, but they don't need to. They're like, I'm here for you. What do you need? Those ones are the keepers.

Take Yourself Out

A turned-on woman goes out on her own. She does things alone. She doesn't wait for permission or for somebody to come with her. You wanna go for a walk somewhere stunning? Go. Wanna see a movie by yourself? Go. This is an action step I have women take: planning the date you would love to be taken on, and going on it alone. This is so fucking healing, and you become more magnetic, more unfuckwithable, more healed when you are okay being alone.

Wear the Thing That Makes You a Little Uncomfortable

Wear something a little inappropriate, something that makes you feel a little uncomfortable. Stop giving a fuck about what other people think.

The moral of this story is that we're living for ourselves, living in the moment, and living for how we feel inside. When we're able to tune into our internal state, turn-on is so much easier to access. We've always thought it's an outward job, but desire, arousal, turn on, it's inside work.

If this speaks to you and you're tired of putting yourself on the back burner, fill out an application to work with me privately. APPLY NOW. Let's get you off the same patterns and into your turned-on, sovereign, feral girl summer.

Head over to The Pleasure Path over on Substack and subscribe. HERE You'll find more action steps for how to get out of that high-achieving brain and become a receiver.

Connect with Dr. Jordin:

Two spots remain for summer private coaching. Not a course, not a group program. A series of deep one-on-one sessions where we map out the dynamic you're in, untangle the over-accountability you've been carrying, and rebuild your life and relationships around pleasure, physiologically and somatically. APPLY NOW

And if you want to go deeper into super traits, over-functioning, and building a pleasure-centered relationship and life, the Pleasure-Centered Society on Substack is where that work lives. JOIN HERE

If you want to understand the specific dynamic you're in before going deeper, the Pleasure Path Assessment is a private one-on-one deep dive. Book HERE