My Journey to Feminine Burnout and Back: The Signs, The Cause, The Healing

Oct 07, 2022

One thing about me is that I’m not shy about telling my story. In fact, in my book The Pink Canary, I’m very transparent about my experiences with my “rebellious vagina”, my libido, navigating the healthcare system, and everything in between.

And I think it’s important for me to continue this transparency because if we don’t talk about these sometimes “taboo” subjects, other women won’t know they’re not alone. 

We need to continue having these conversations so we can reverse the statistic of 1 in 2 women having sexual disfunction in their lifetime. So women can find a community of others who are experiencing the same things. So women can have access to the proper information and support for their concerns. So women can have meaningful and connected relationships again. So women can feel joy, happiness, and fulfillment again. And so much more.

I want to share my recent experiences with Feminine Burnout to help you recognize the signs in your own lives and know that you’re not alone.


How Feminine Burnout Affects Your Life

Feminine Burnout is going to affect your life in two to three of the following areas. 

I work with Superwomen. Which means that when I speak with someone and they don’t fit every single one of the criteria, they think this doesn’t apply to them. Because they’re perfectionists. But let’s take that Superwoman cape off for a moment because this is a test you don’t need to get 100% on. 

If you can relate to two or more of the areas I mention below, you’re likely experiencing Feminine Burnout.


1. Health

Here are some of the ways that Feminine Burnout will start affecting your health:

  • You’re not taking care of yourself the way you’d like to
  • You’re not feeling your best but you’re also not making it a priority (i.e.: canceling personal health appointments or not scheduling them in the first place)
  • You know what you should be doing for your health but you’re not following through
  • You’re noticing classic symptoms like fatigue, irregular periods, weight gain or difficulty with weight loss, mood swings, hair loss, and digestive issues


2. Career / Wealth

Sex, money, and worthiness are all connected. Here are some signs that Feminine Burnout is affecting your career and/or ability to generate wealth:

  • You’re feeling unmotivated at work
  • You’re feeling less creative
  • You may be fantasizing about leaving your job
  • Perhaps the work that used to fulfill you isn’t fulfilling anymore
  • Maybe you’re stressing about money even though you’re earning a high income
  • You may be the breadwinner in your family AND you’re managing the household so you’re feeling resentment


3. Sex and Love

Here are a few ways that Feminine Burnout may be affecting your sex and/or love life:

  • You have a low libido or generally don’t have any interest in having sex
  • You’re doing “it” just to do it because that’s what you’re told you’re supposed to be doing
  • The passion you used to have is gone
  • Perhaps you have the higher sex drive but your relationship is lacking intimacy and romance
  • You may have the higher drive in your relationship and feel rejected so you’ve buried that part of yourself 
  • Your relationship feels lacking like something is missing
  • You feel like your partner is a “good teammate” but the spark is gone
  • You don’t feel as connected as you want with your partner, your friends, and other loved ones

If you can relate to about 70% of the above examples, you’re likely experiencing Feminine Burnout. 


The Feminine Burnout Cycle (And My Journey)

Now that we’ve covered the areas of your life affected by Feminine Burnout, let’s explore the Feminine Burnout cycle. The Feminine Burnout cycle can be broken down into three stages.

Stage 1: It starts with over-functioning Superwomen who do it all at work, at home and everywhere in between. They take care of everyone else but themselves and, despite feeling overworked and exhausted, just keep pushing through without asking for help. 

Stage 2: After having pushed their body and mind so much, these superwomen finally hit a wall where they’re forced to slow down. For example, an illness. Whatever the cause, something forces them to stop, rest and heal. However, oftentimes the time meant to be spent healing is filled with feelings of guilt for not getting anything done.

Stage 3: The second these women are able to, they’re jumping back into their over-functioning ways at home and at work, usually working even harder to catch up, and then ultimately starting the cycle over again.


My Recent Feminine Burnout Journey

Let me tell you about my recent experience falling into the Feminine Burnout cycle.

Despite helping thousands of women heal from Feminine Burnout, I’m still a Superwoman at my core. And that means every now and then I catch myself falling back into these patterns. 

I’ve had a lot on my plate over the last 2-years. I had a baby during a pandemic, I moved, I built a house, I moved again, I was running two large businesses. I had all of this on my plate and instead of slowing down, I just kept going. The good news is that I literally teach women how to break out of this cycle and thus, have the tools and support to tolerate a lot of this without the crash (stage 2).

The signs were there, but like most Superwomen in this stage of the Feminine Burnout cycle, I ignored them and pushed it aside.

Here’s where I entered the next stage of the cycle.

Every two months for the last six to eight months I have been getting sick. This has included symptoms like nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, etc. I had initially thought I had food poisoning after traveling this Summer. So like the Superwoman I am, I brushed it off and did what I needed to do and then got back in the game as soon as humanly possible. But what happened 2 months later? I crashed again.

When I crashed again, I experienced the same symptoms but with the addition of hives. And on top of that, Covid. I considered the possibility of it being unique symptoms of Covid, or perhaps a new food allergy but instead of going through any testing, I put myself back in the game. I never really stopped. I pushed through, I kept going, and I continued running by businesses. It was around this time I started noticing that I had fallen into the Feminine Burnout cycle.

Simply by recognizing what was happening, I was able to use the tools and support I’ve developed over the years to step back and reevaluate what I was doing. I can now say I’ve booked the necessary appointments and scheduled the testing to ensure I’m making my health a priority. 

And what’s important about this story is that even though I can currently function at 100% and am feeling healthy, I’m not pushing through and ignoring the physical symptoms I was experiencing. Instead of overworking myself because I feel healthy enough to do so, I’m making the appointments, I’m doing the testing, I’m taking time to relax without guilt, and I’m making my health a priority.


Can You Relate?

The Feminine Burnout cycle is something that happens to Superwomen. In my most recent podcast episode (episode 69), I talk about this topic more in depth and review the common characteristics of a “Superwoman” to help listeners determine whether or not they’re also an over-functioning Superwoman. The good news is that you’re not alone. I’ve worked with thousands of Superwomen and I’ve experienced it all myself.

If you’re ready to join me and heal from Feminine Burnout, apply to work with me. The Feminine Burnout Recovery program focuses on working with high-functioning women who want fast answers, actionable steps and solutions that work. Feminine Burnout recovery addresses your health and wellness as well as the mental reframes you need to ensure that you are implementing and taking your progress seriously.


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