There’s no such thing as a dumb question. At The Pleasure Collective, we encourage our clients to be open and vulnerable and to ask whatever is on their mind with no fear of judgement.
From how to know if you've orgasmed, to wondering how much sex is enough for a healthy relationship. Let’s address some of the most asked sex questions:
How Do I Know If I’ve Orgasmed?
First off, it’s important to remember orgasms aren’t always what they appear to be on TV or in movies, so don’t start comparing your experiences to what you see on the big screen.
Physiologically speaking, you’ll experience increased heart rate, increased blood pressure, increased breathing rate, and sometimes some contractions of your vagina or pelvic floor.
We like to think of an orgasm as an increase or explosion of pleasure, followed by a release and relaxation. With this mindset, we have a much more expansive definition where we can focus on enjoyment and satisfaction.
How Much Sex Is Normal A Week?
According to outdated research, monogamous sex about one to two times a week is average, but again that information is outdated and doesn’t take into account how busy we are nowadays.
Our advice is to aim for quality over quantity. If you’re having mind-blowing sex that’s leaving you feeling satisfied and connected to your partner two times a month - that’s ok! The most important thing to consider is that both partners are happy with the quality of sex you’re having, whether that’s twice a month or three times a week.
Is Swallowing Semen Healthy?
In terms of health, there’s nothing to determine that swallowing semen is bad for you. It primarily consists of sperm, water, sugars, and proteins that allow the sperm to live. Deciding to swallow sperm is a personal preference, where the only negative is if you’re doing it because you think you have to, not because you want to.
How Can I Have Sex When My Kids Are Home?
When you’re trying to get intimate with your partner but your kids are home, it can be quite the distraction. It often brings the experience to a crashing halt when you’re worried about your kids hearing or walking in. Your arousal can shut down all together.
Our advice? Don’t rule out quickies. Just because it’s quick doesn’t mean it’s not hot or doesn’t leave you feeling connected to your partner. Get prepared throughout the day by sending some sexy texts or photos to help build up the anticipation so you’re ready to go when the opportunity comes.
Are Intimacy Issues A Sign That I Should End My Relationship?
Oftentimes we think that when the early spark we had early in our relationship doesn’t continue, we look at it as a sign there’s something wrong. This is actually something that should be expected in a relationship over time. These intimacy issues are just something that we need to navigate together and understand there’s a constant ebb and flow.
We haven’t been taught about the kinds of intimacy that works for us, so when our relationship doesn’t fit in the box society lays out for us, we think the relationship is broken when in fact it’s the box that’s broken. We need to learn to give our relationships grace, and remember that in times of stress intimacy doesn’t become a priority.
Overall, intimacy issues aren’t something to end a relationship over. The only time they become a real problem is when a partner is unwilling to learn or be educated or compromise on new ways to be intimate.
If you find yourself having more questions on sex and pleasure, you may want to look into The Pleasure Principles program. Our program provides a space for women like you to find community and support along their journey to find or improve their pleasure. You can find out more here.