When was the last time you had a mind-blowing orgasm? When was the last time that you had sex that left you feeling fulfilled for days?
Lack of pleasure correlates to a loss of connection with yourself, and poor health. It’s a sign that we need a mindset shift.
In the most recent episode of my new podcast, The Pleasure Principles, I share a recording from our most recent Pleasure Mindset Bootcamp, where I spoke about the main reasons behind your blocked libido.
As a side note: This session from the Bootcamp in particular always gets the biggest response from Bootcamp attendees. So many ‘Ah-ha moments’ are had.
So let’s get into it. Here are the top 4 reasons your libido is blocked:
Who puts themselves at the bottom of the to-do list? Who feels that you need to clean the dishes, the house, everything else, before you can relax and enjoy yourself? Who was raised with that work hard, then play hard mentality?
If you think that having kids is the biggest block for their relationship, if you have a hard time being present during sex, or keep making to-do lists in your head, you need to listen to this episode. Find out how the pre-sex checklist and the goddess persona will help you shift towards a pleasure mentality. And discover the power of the scheduled intimacy date.
2. Blaming your hormones
Who thinks that their hormones are the reason they have no desire?
I’m going to let you in on a secret.
In my experience, there is a 95% chance that if you had hormone imbalance and we fixed it, other things would improve, like your weight and your energy. You'd feel better overall, but that desire for sex might not improve. And by having less sex, we want less sex.
Regardless of whether your libido block started as a hormone issue, there's now also a mindset issue. And if we treat just one side of this equation, libido never improves. And that's why so many women have a problem. We need to treat hormones and mindset or you’ll get immersed in the libido downward spiral.
3. Education and what we were taught
What was your messaging from school, from your parents?
What did they tell you, or teach you about sex?
Did your sex education include pleasure education? Or were you just taught STI prevention and not to get pregnant? What was your first experience? Have you inherited shame from your parents? Or religious guilt? Maybe you believe that the goal of sex is a mutual orgasm.
If any of these questions resonate with you, definitely listen to the episode.
Imagine trying to tell men that they should orgasm when somebody licks their elbow! There’s a lot of imprinting we need to undo.
4. Relationship satisfaction
Are you super insecure about your body and constantly thinking that you don’t like the way you look, or smell, or what you weigh?
We have the idea that we’ll enjoy sex when_______________ (fill in the blank).
When my stomach is flatter, when my acne is gone and when my skin is clear. These are also blocks. And if we are worrying about our bodies, we're not in the moment. And it puts the brakes on libido.
Regardless of what our block is, we need to work on a pleasure mindset.
With this episode, I want to encourage you to unlock your desire, to explore, to be a pleasure researcher.