Pregnancy & Pleasure

Pregnancy and Pleasure: Not Taboo Anymore

Pleasure is always a taboo topic for women. We can’t be too forward, too brash, too crass about what we like and how we like it. But Pleasure and Pregnancy? UNHEARD OF!

Until now…

Let’s get into it – the down and dirty – of being pregnant and experiencing pleasure.

Many women experience an increase in libido late in the 1^st trimester due to a drop in hormones… which means less nausea and fatigue and more desire for intimacy.

For me, my desire for sex did not change. Although I was more tired than usual & did a lot of falling asleep on the couch, I still wanted sex as much as before…but there was the thought in my head that I was having sex with a baby on board. Even with all of my medical training and explicit knowledge that there is NO way to hurt a baby through sex during pregnancy, the thoughts were always present and interrupting my ability to fully invest and be present in intimacy. 

The increased hormones – making your breasts & clitoris more sensitive and increasing blood flow to your erogenous zones are the perfect time to enjoy more sensitive sex.

But somehow my cultural conditioning was kicking in. I can’t be a good mother and be sexual. If I enjoy this too much, does that make me a bad mom before this baby is even born?

I did the work, I leaned into my pleasure practice and my teachings and came to the following conclusions:

• I want my baby girl to feel the feelings. Now and always. The bad, but ESPECIALLY the good. The full spectrum all the emotions that so many of us are denied/deny ourselves as women. For fear of being too much. For fear of being a bitch. The tears, grief & despair, the loss of control during a pandemic (yes that means cancelling a trip to Positano, NY to see my girlfriends and my book launch appearances) but the beautiful connection and family time that came with it.
• I want her to know the deep love I feel for her father.
• I want her to never be afraid of her pleasure and the amazing places a kind heart and a leap of faith can take her.
• I never want her to know a life where she fakes the happy emotions. Goes through life numb, at the bottom of the list - like so many of the women I work with. Like I did for so many years.
• I never want her thinking that her truest desires and pleasure and enjoyment are wrong. Because I know what that leads to… anhedonia, sexless marriages, not standing up for herself, years passing by unfulfilled.

And this is the message I leave for you…

You deserve pleasure now and always. Even when you are pregnant. You are worthy and you have everything you need already.

Join us on Facebook in the Pleasure Mindset Bootcamp where we share and grow in our pleasure together. 

Dr. J