Low Libido: Is it Me or My Hormones?

Mar 19, 2021

Hands up if you struggle with low libido, lack of desire, or disinterest in sex and pleasure…

🙋🏼‍♀️ 🙋🏼‍♀️ 🙋🏼‍♀️

If you don’t really care when or if you ever have sex again, you’re going to want to read this.

Sex and pleasure are complicated, intricate, and nuanced. I have yet to meet a woman who’s map to desire is linear.

But that’s the beauty of it. The journey and the exploration we all get to be on to find the pleasure that sets our world on fire and lights up the room.

I am going to drop a few truth bombs on you when it comes to hormones and low libido…

  1. Don’t worry so much about testosterone

Anecdotally, I have worked with women that have low libidos and tested for high testosterone levels, as well as women with high libidos that have tested with low testosterone levels. 

I have worked with women who have found great relief on testosterone replacement therapy and I have worked with women that felt worse, experienced a handful of negative side effects and had no impact on their libido overall.

The moral of the story is: testosterone is not the only answer. Our desire systems are so much more complicated and usually involve some of the following:

  • relationship satisfaction 
  • sexual communication skills 
  • other hormones: like dopamine and oxytocin 
  • beliefs and values about sex 
  • stress levels
  • self-esteem and self-image
  • guilt and shame around sex
  • societal and/or religious pressures holding you back

This is why a pill is never going to solve the problem for 50% of women who struggle with low libido at some point in their lives. 

  1. Less than 3% of the women I work with solve their libido problems just by fixing their hormones

Let me start off by saying that if you suspect an underlying hormone imbalance, I encourage you to seek help from a health care practitioner that is going to do the right testing and get you the treatment you need. My work at my women’s health clinic revolves around women’s health and hormone imbalance.  

Will you feel amazingly better once you get your hormones balanced and sorted?


Is there still a high chance you will still have lasting libido and desire challenges even after your hormones are balanced?

Also, yes. 

For many of the reasons I stated earlier, low libido and lack of desire in women is so much more complicated than balancing your hormones. 

As a general rule, if you experience the following, you should consider having your hormones evaluated:

  • Pain during intercourse
  • You notice a pattern of when you are in the mood, a couple days a month, and no desire other days
  • Vaginal dryness
  • You recently gave birth or went through menopause and have noticed a major change to your libido since

Balancing your hormones is a great place to start, but the real work comes addressing the mindset blocks and outdated stories you’ve been told about sex and pleasure that are holding you back from really enjoying it! And wanting more ;)

  1. Mindset Matters 

You may have already gotten the hint, but just to be super clear! Mindset matters. Women with healthy sex lives have Pleasure Mindsets.

Here are a few things that biologically interrupt our ability to pay attention to sexual cues, get turned on, and enjoy sexual pleasure…

  • Stress
  • Guilt
  • Anxiety
  • Depression
  • Self-esteem
  • Intrusive thoughts
  • Worrying about how long it takes to orgasm
  • To-do lists running through your head
  • Communication blocks (not know what you want or how to ask for it)

Feels overwhelming, I know.

But here is the good news. All of these can be addressed, worked through and revitalized to leave you with a healthy Pleasure Mindset!

Want to start addressing your Pleasure Mindset blocks for better sex and flourishing relationships?

Join the Pleasure Mindset Bootcamp. A completely free community of women where we share information, stories, support and everything in between!

See you there.


Dr. J



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