What is it Adele and Dr. Jordin have in common? Divorce.
Divorce is becoming more and more common in society. There’s even a new album covering it. But that doesn’t make it any easier.
Sometimes it happens because the sex has become routine, or non-existent. Other times you may be feeling rejected or unloved.
Oftentimes, it happens because there’s an imbalance in the relationship. One person is giving more than the other, and is left feeling resentful.
Why Do We Over-Give?
As women, we’ve been taught that going above and beyond is the only way to prove our love for our partners, and if we don’t go above and beyond, we aren’t worthy of love. Whether it’s handling all the meals and cleaning, taking charge of the children, or being the main organizer in the relationship - we’re often left burnt-out and over-spent. By not doing these things, we won’t earn the love we want. We don’t feel safe in our relationship.
We do not need to earn love. We don’t have to be superwoman to be considered worthy of love.
When we’re constantly over-giving, it leads our partner to under-give, leaving us with little to no return for the efforts we’ve put in.
How Can We Stop Over-Giving
Compared to generations before, women are making more money and are overall more educated. We’re getting closer to equality, and because of that, the traditional relationship roles and dynamics are shifting. Successful women are more independent, trusting themselves and paying their own way. But this is leaving them even more reluctant to receive love and ask for help.
In order to stop over-giving, we need to determine what our desires are. What brings us pleasure. We need the freedom to live the lives we truly want to be living.
It’s Not Giving Up
Making the decision to get a divorce is never on a whim. It’s a serious, life-altering decision that often brings shame and judgement. Sure, sometimes staying in the relationship is the easier thing to do in some situations, however if you are thinking about or currently going through a divorce, you shouldn’t be ashamed.
Some people think divorce is just giving up. It’s not giving up, it’s an opportunity to reflect and change the way we approach relationships in the future. Learning to communicate our needs, expressing when we’re feeling overwhelmed, not focusing on the negative, no longer thinking love needs to be earned, these are all changes that could not only improve future relationships, but potentially help in benefiting your current one.
The Feminine Mentorship offers women the opportunity to dive deep into their desires and practice the work to leave them feeling seen and heard. It’s a year-long program designed and offered by Dr. Jordin Wiggins for those who are serious about becoming the Feminine Force they are meant to be. Learn more about The Feminine Mentorship here.
Listen to episode #25 of The Pleasure Principles Podcast to learn more about Dr. Jordin’s story and how changing the way we show up in relationships will make them better overall.