Breaking Through Your Pleasure Blocks To Achieve Orgasm

Difficulty achieving orgasm? You’re not alone. One in ten women have not orgasmed in their lifetime. Only 30% of women have reported orgasming from penetration. The sexual statistics are staggering, with sexual disfunction affecting 50% of women globally. 

We need to learn to break through the blocks that are holding us back from experiencing the pleasure we deserve to be feeling on a daily basis.

Expectation VS Reality

When we think of an orgasm, we think back to what we were taught in school (if we were taught anything…). Typically it’s always been presented as very male-centric, very scientific, very linear. An orgasm is usually described as an increase in pleasure with physical symptoms like increased heart rate, muscle tension, and flushing. The linear formula we usually associate with orgasm - arousal, followed by orgasm - doesn’t work for most women.

In order to change our behaviour, we have to change our beliefs, and stop trying to fit into a box that hasn’t been built for us. We need to change our definition of orgasm from the typical scientific explanation. Moving forward, look at orgasm as experiencing pleasure. Pleasure is something you can experience in and out of the bedroom, and when we work on expanding our view of what orgasm is,  we can focus on experiencing pleasure all the time.

Are You Lacking In Pleasure?

Let’s go through some of the ways you may be feeling due to lack of pleasure:

• You’re not feeling safe in your relationship 
• You’re having a hard time asking for what you want out of the bedroom
• You’re lacking desire
• You're carrying resentment towards your partner
• You don’t feel seen for who you truly are
• You have a hard time communicating your needs to your partner
• You’re feeling unappreciated for everything you do
• You say yes when you want to say no

Common Orgasm Blocks 

There are many common blocks that women may be experiencing if they’re having difficulty achieving orgasm.

1. Lacking a Pleasure Mindset - we’ve been taught thinking about pleasure is bad. 
    
2. Shame - we’ve received so much negative messaging surrounding sex we often feel shame or guilt when we want to enjoy it.
   
   
3. Stressed & Overwhelmed - when we’re stressed, our sympathetic nerve kicks into overdrive, making it harder to feel pleasure.
   
   
4. Miseducation - we’ve been taught the non-realistic, linear model of orgasming and that’s getting in the way of our experience.
   
   
5. Chasing Orgasms - we’re goal-focused and not enjoying the journey.
   
   
6. Worthiness - our conditioning has made us feel unworthy of love.

Reclaim & Expand Your Pleasure

Once we’ve determined what’s blocking our ability to orgasm/experience pleasure, it’s time to reclaim your pleasure. How? Start by reminding yourself of the following: Pleasure is good. You deserve pleasure. Orgasming is good for you.

Some ways you can expand your pleasure are:

Breath-work - through meditation, yoga, special breathing during sex and mashterbation. Use breathing as a tool to get yourself from the sympathetic nervous state to the para-sympathetic nervous state.

Sound - How does should shift your sexual experience? Sound can help a lot of women orgasm but they often feel embarrassed expressing themselves to their partner. Be open and embrace whatever may help in the pleasure experience.

Pelvic Floor Training - Seeing a Pelvic Floor Physiotherapist, using a jade egg, rehabilitating your pelvic floor. All of these can be a major contributor to an elevated pleasure experience.

Mindfulness - The more present we are, the more we are able to be present in our bodies.

Master Your Pleasure

The more pleasure we feel in our day-to-day life, the more we’re able to have the types of orgasms we want to have. We need to be able to feel, flow and surrender to the feminine.

How are we going to get there? We need to practice and do the work, we can‘t just expect orgasms to happen. Connect what’s missing and make the necessary changes to your mindset, lifestyle, health, etc.

The Pleasure Principles program helps you cultivate a fulfilling and satisfying sex life and relationship. You can find out more here.

Listen to episode #45 of the Pleasure Principles Podcast on Apple or Spotify.