#214 The Labs I Run When Desire, Arousal, and Libido Shut Down

Most women are not fully enjoying the sex they are having

Low desire, arousal issues, pain with sex, numbness, difficulty reaching orgasm, and mismatched libidos affect a staggering number of women globally. Even those statistics are likely underreported. What I see clinically every day is not a lack of interest in connection, but confusion about why the body has stopped responding the way it used to.

Women blame themselves for this. We assume something is wrong with us. We wonder if it is a hormone problem, a mindset issue, a failure of effort, or something we are supposed to accept as we get older. We ask why we cannot just want sex, or why desire feels so far away, even when love and attraction are still present. When trying harder does not work, shame quietly fills the space.

LISTEN ON APPLE | LISTEN ON SPOTIFY | LISTEN ON AMAZON MUSIC

Take the FREE SUPER TRAITS QUIZ HERE

The problem is not low libido. It is the data we are tracking

High-functioning women are taught to measure everything. Productivity. Performance. Steps. Calories. Workouts. Achievements. We bring that same mindset into intimacy and assume desire should respond to effort.

But erotic aliveness does not respond to effort. It responds to safety, capacity, and the body's internal environment. Sex is bio-psycho-social. When the body does not feel safe or resourced, it will always prioritize survival over reproduction.

Sexual shutdown does not show up as a single lab result

When someone tells me they feel numb, disconnected, dry, distracted during sex, or that sex no longer feels good, there is no single lab that explains it. Sexual shutdown shows up as a pattern.

That pattern often includes dysregulated cortisol rhythms, subtle thyroid downshifts, nutrient depletion, inflammation, metabolic stress, fragmented sleep, and nervous system overload. Hormones matter, but hormones alone rarely tell the full story. Normal labs do not mean optimal function.

Why super traits quietly shut down desire

I see this pattern most clearly in women with super traits. High responsibility. High empathy. High achievement. Emotional overfunctioning. These are not flaws. These traits make women capable, reliable, successful, and deeply trusted.

But when these traits shift into survival, the nervous system stays in chronic hypervigilance. Over time, progesterone drops quietly. Cortisol stops following a healthy rhythm. Thyroid conversion slows. Sleep becomes lighter and more fragmented. The body shifts into conservation mode.

Desire is an expansive state. A body that is conserving energy will not open sexually, no matter how much effort is applied.

Nothing is wrong with you

This is where so many women get stuck. They are told their labs are normal. They are told nothing is wrong. They are offered surface-level solutions that promise to fix everything while ignoring the deeper pattern.

Your body has adapted perfectly to a life that does not allow you to be a receiver. Loss of pleasure is not a failure. Low desire is not a personal shortcoming. It is information. When we learn how to read that information correctly, the body stops being the enemy and becomes the guide.

Low desire is not a mystery. It is a pattern.

The Super Trait Audit is a one-hour diagnostic session designed to identify what is driving sexual shutdown, nervous system overload, and relational power imbalances.
Super Trait Audit:  The Pleasure Collective

Ontario residents can book a clinical appointment here:
 Book Online at HEALTH OVER ALL

If you do not know your super traits yet, take the Super Trait Quiz to understand exactly how this is showing up for you.

If you are ready for personalized support and do not want to keep analyzing this on your own, APPLY HERE for private coaching.

1:1 Intimacy & Pleasure Coaching with Dr. Jordin Wiggins

Connect with me on Instagram [@drjordinwiggins]