Why not taking care of yourself is ruining your libido

May 25, 2021

That is the question I tackle in the premier episode of The Pleasure Principles Podcast. (Listen on Apple or Spotify)

(Yes, in case you missed it, we’ve hit the airwaves, and we’re taking our mission to change the conversation around sex and pleasure to the next level.)

I wanted the first episode to focus on self care. We all use this term. But do we actually follow through and truly care for ourselves in the way we deserve?

Did you know that NOT prioritizing self-care can be disrupting your relationships and leading to worse sex?

The two main issues I see with the women I work with:

  1. The way we schedule our days. So, we’re overwhelmed, overworked, burnt out and exhausted.
  2. Putting ourselves last on the to-do list. Is the first thing to get wiped off the calendar your workout or your massage because something came up with the kids or you were tight on a work deadline? 

When we come from this place, we end up having either anxious interactions, or demanding interactions. And in a relationship, no one really wants to help you out when you're demanding things of them (and becoming short and snappy), or you're so anxious that you come across as needy.

When you’re over-scheduled and overwhelmed, and not prioritizing your self care, you’re at the bottom of the to-do list, and this really, really disrupts your connection in relationships. 

It puts the brakes on your libido, especially in long-term relationships. 

Give the episode a listen on either Apple or Spotify, and you’ll learn the way out of the well-worn rut of lost connection (hint: self-care!). You’ll find out how to keep the spark alive and well so that you can have the great mind-blowing sex that you desire.

Why is it so hard for women to prioritize themselves and their needs?

“Often, I'm working with people for the first time and ask, what do you do for yourself? What do you do for fun? What do you do that brings you joy? They can't answer. Or they're so frustrated, because it's been so long that they've done something for themselves, we almost lose who we are. And no one wants to have sex when they're in that place. And no one wants to have sex with you when you're in that place.”

Maca is not going to fix your libido

“What you need is accurate information on the things that actually work. There's no supplement that's going to fix needy and weepy and demanding because you haven't learned to prioritize yourself. You haven't learned to set boundaries, and you haven't prioritized a self-care routine.”

So, what kind of self-care do I need for better sex?

Before Covid-19 and having my daughter, I  had a great self-care routine. I go into further detail in the episode, but here’s my top 3 tips for self-care.

  1. Move your body (doing things)– for happy hormones and endorphins, better circulation and better sex.
  2. Do whatever you can do to relax (the still things) like have a bath, go for a walk or do a meditation to soothe your nervous system so you can get turned on (or at least some of the way there).
  3. Find your pole, whatever it might be.

Let’s ditch the excuses. Let’s prioritize our self-care and go into our relationship with overflowing energy of abundance. Not of lack, need, or resentment. It starts with us!

Listen to episode # 1 on Apple. Or on Spotify. And if you like what you hear, do us a favour and give us a rating or leave a review. 


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