How to Break out of Routine and Save your Relationship with Ritual
May 07, 2020
I had a call last week with one of my private clients. Her name is Kate and she is a 43 year old female on maternity leave with her 3rd child.
She confessed, “sex has been on the back burner in my relationship for years”.
She said her husband is very understanding but it is definitely having an impact on their relationship.
Her and her husband have plenty of ROUTINES - they watch an episode or 2 of their favourite show on Friday night, they have a glass of wine after the kids are in bed, they cook breakfast together on Sundays. But these routines are done on autopilot. They are automatic and Kate and her husband barely even think twice about them.
They are lacking ritual.
Rituals are something you can practice daily!
RITUALS bring you closer.
They foster connection. Rituals are purposeful and mindful.
They go deeper, are more spiritual and you can feel the hormone cascades pulling you closer when you partake.
When done correctly, and repeatedly, rituals will start to give you that "when we first met feeling"
And the best part is they are pandemic budget friendly aka FREE.
Here is a list of some of my favourite rituals:
- Greet each other when you get home from work. Tip: stop whatever you are doing and hug for at least 30 seconds so that you can start to release oxytocin, the connection hormone. You can see me speak more on this on Arizona Family news HERE.
- Listen to a podcast or audio book together. Tip: set the stage by lighting a candle, making tea (or pouring wine ;). Make sure you hold hands or sit close enough to touch, this will also release connection hormones and neurotransmitters
Here are a list of podcasts I am on that might be of interest:
Fierce Feminine Leadership
- Spend 2 minutes gazing into your partners eyes as soon as you wake up. You do not have to say anything, just lay there and enjoy feeling connected without touch. We get so busy that many couples are looking down at their phones and not spending as much time connecting deeply.
- Read to your partner. This one is my favourite! There is something so therapeutic about reading to someone or being read to. We do not think twice about doing this with our children, why not incorporate it into your rituals as a couple! Make sure you take the time to do this before you are exhausted at the end of the day, because it might put you to sleep.
- Give your partner an orgasm! Maybe this one is my favourite. This can be great as a morning or evening ritual. Orgasms improve immune function and decrease stress. There is something extremely satisfying about taking turns. Especially if partners have different libidos.
Has this struck a chord? Learn how to break out of the routines that aren't serving you and let pleasure back into your life with a lifeline for your sex life and get your copy of The Pink Canary today!