It took the convincing of my sister and my marketing team.
And even now, after the episode has been released, I still feel a little uncomfortable sharing my ‘unedited’ story with everyone.
But this is me practising what I preach, creating community through sharing and reaching more of you who can relate. This work only works when we do it together.
In this episode I tell the story of how I ended up here, talking about sex on the internet. And more importantly, how I became confident in calling myself a Pleasure Doctor.
It’s not because I originally wanted to talk about sex for a living. In fact, I was embarrassed and ashamed.
What would my parents think? What would my friends think? My past teachers?
So, I hid for a long time, only talking about this with patients at the clinic. But there were so many women out there suffering. I had to make a change.
Let me backtrack a bit…
I lost my libido, twice, before I decided to do this work.
(And a third time with postpartum, but this time I had the tools.)
It started with depression during my pre-med degree. I didn’t feel like myself.
The things that used to make me happy, didn’t.
I used to fake smile and tell people I was fine. Even when I wasn't.
This is something I see often, a high functioning depression in many, many of the women that I work with and in Pleasure Principles.
I had NO desire for sex.
But I was doing a pre-med degree at the time, I was learning pharmacology, psychology, physiology, and I had an internal knowing that it wasn't a serotonin deficiency or an imbalance that was causing my problem. It was anhedonia. I didn't have the words for that, then. I didn't know what that meant.
It was a series of life events. Abuse by a family friend. My boyfriend’s mother calling me a slut. A traumatic car accident. The pressure to get 90s, to hold down a job, to volunteer, all while doing a full-time pre-med degree.
Have you ever felt low, like you’re not even being authentically yourself with those around you and your loved ones?
Then you’ll know what I was going through.
It led me to naturopathic medicine.
To balancing my hormones.
But my libido didn’t come back.
I was jealous, snappy and envious of other women.
After two vaginal surgeries, sex became painful.
Then I went through a divorce.
Found my path.
Debt, The Pink Canary and Covid-19.
And the Pleasure Mindset bootcamp.
This is me. Raw, emotional, vulnerable. It’s my story and I’m baring all, and how this led to the Pink Canary and the Pleasure Principles.
My mission was bigger than my excuses and my reasons not to take action.
Desires are inconvenient sometimes. But that’s why they’re magical.
If you can let yourself want something and go after it, it will work out on the other end.