Innies and Outies...No, We're Not Talking About Belly Buttons

Oct 01, 2020

It has come to my attention that there is a trend going around online (mostly with young adults and teens) about “innies” and “outies”. 

No, we’re not talking belly buttons. 

We’re talking vulvas. 

Men are sharing their “preferences” and women are sharing their elation that “thank god they have an innie”. 

Maybe you've heard the terms before to describe how someone's "vagina" looks, maybe an old boyfriend told you that yours looked "weird". If you have ever felt self-conscience about the way your "vagina" looks... please keep reading. 

Let’s start by unpacking some of this. 

First, let’s talk about what they are REALLY talking about here....

The vagina and the vulva are not the same thing. They are 2 different body parts that are often used interchangeably (aka incorrectly).  

Your vagina and your vulva are as different as a penis and a scrotum. If we can differentiate between the penis and scrotum, we can sure as hell tell the difference between vaginas and vulvas.

The part you can see on the outside is your vulva. This includes your clitoris, the labia majora and minora, AND the vagina. The vagina is only the internal part, the part that connects your vulva to your uterus. It’s the part where the baby exits, where your period flows through, and where men put their penis in and traditionally get the most pleasure from during sex. You cannot see the vagina from the outside unless you have x-ray vision.

When we hear people describing vulvas as "innies" and "outies" - this is referring to the labia minora. The inner lips of the vulva. "Outies" are vulvas that the labia minora are visible and "innies" are vulvas where the labia minora are not visible from observing the vulva. Both are very normal kinds of vulvas. 

Vulvas and their labia naturally come in different shapes, sizes, lengths, and colours - that have NOTHING to do with sexual activity (apparently there is a false rumour that the more sexual partners a woman has, the more of an “outie” she will have) and EVERYTHING to do with genetics. 

I took some time to scroll through these videos circulating online and in addition to the “preference” videos, I also saw women talking about how shocked they are because they didn’t know there was such a thing as different kinds of vulvas. I saw a woman talking about the shame of having an “outie” and how it forced her to get plastic surgery that left her without sensation and long term damage. All because someone made her feel shame about how her vulva looked. It broke my heart. 

I want every woman to be confident and knowledgeable about their own body and these outdated and downright incorrect myths stop women from enjoying their bodies, celebrating their pleasure and sharing that pleasure with others. 

Here is the action we are going to take...

  1. If this is news to you too, if you have ever felt shame or insecurity about how your vulva looks - do some research. Check out The Labia Library. A database of all different, completely normal and healthy and beautiful vulvas. 
  2. Read the Pink Canary. I included a sexual re-education and total sex-ed overhaul in my book for this exact reason - women's sexual health and information we receive about it is at best, centred around male-pleasure, and at worst, incorrect and harmful. Order your copy here
  3. Talk about it. Have this conversation with your daughters, your sons, your partners. About the harm (and utterly ridiculous nature) of women’s bodies being scrutinized, shamed and demonized in such a specific and cruel and completely arbitrary way. 

Tell your partner her vulva is beautiful. Tell yourself your vulva is beautiful. Tell her you love her, the way she looks and the way she brings you pleasure and makes you feel. 


Ok...end rant. 

Sending all the love and pleasure, 



P.S. If you suspect something is wrong or have noticed a change in your vulva, seek help from a medical professional. 



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