How To Let Go Of Perfectionism For Better Sex

Jun 03, 2022

There isn’t a formula for great sex. What you like at one point could be different years later. Life changes, and things get in the way. Great sex is all about flow, presence and receiving - things you can’t necessarily control and schedule.

The thing about Superwomen is that we’ve been conditioned to chase perfection in all aspects of our lives, including in the bedroom. As we always say, the way we do one thing, is the way we do everything. So, when we’re bringing that chase for perfection into the bedroom, it’s impacting the sex we’re experiencing. The more super a superwoman is, the less great sex she’s likely having.


Why Do We Have The Need To Be Perfect?

As superwomen, we’ve become addicted to being busy and over-scheduled. We’re the overachievers, the ones who are in charge of the plans, the ones who are over-giving on a daily basis. 

We were always taught to get it right, and that if we weren’t perfect we were failures. Because of that we’ve always worked the hardest, went above and beyond to prove ourselves, and put everyone else’s needs above our own. We have our set ways and processes that we need to follow.

However, the thing about sex is that we can’t treat it like another task on our to-do list, as much as we want to have full control of the experience. Chasing perfection isn’t sexy.


Tips For Giving Up On Perfection

Chances are, if you’re approaching sex as something you have to “do right”, then you’re already doing it wrong. Here are some of our best tips to help you gift up on perfection for better sex:


  1. Urgency - Does everything feel like it has to be done right now? Do other people’s problems derail your calm, focus, or productivity? If you are always putting out fires and everything feels urgent, how can you expect to relax and lean into finding your pleasure. You need to honor and embrace your feminine energy by rejecting urgency. Start by trying to delay an “urgent” task by an hour before you enter superwoman mode, then work to extend that time, you’d be surprised how many problems can fix themselves.

  2. Be A Little Selfish - Superwoman we have been taught to put our needs last and care for others first. We get so disconnected from what we want, that it can be hard to even figure out what our desires are. Start being selfish in small but meaningful ways.Pick a plan or activity that makes YOU happy, rather than doing something you don’t want just to accommodate others.

  3. Do Something “Wrong” On Purpose -  We all have grown up with these ideas of right and wrong. Whether it’s something as minimal as putting a dish in the dishwasher without rinsing it first. Make a mistake and be human.


How It’s All Connected

Being a burnt out superwoman who’s constantly chasing perfection directly affects your libido. It’s time to break the conditioning we’ve grown up with and start chipping away at the need to be perfect. It’s time to embrace your feminine. 

Not sure where to start? We’re here to help. Take a look at our available programs

Be sure to listen to episode #56 on Apple or Spotify to learn more about Jordin’s insights on perfectionism and bad sex.


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