How Learning To Surrender Can Help You Experience More Pleasure

When the 50 Shades of Grey phenomenon took over the world a decade ago, we saw more and more women have their spark for passion and desire reignited (at least temporarily). The series, whether you like it or not, helped to open the door globally for conversations and experiences that may never have happened without it.

Although there are some clear negative themes throughout, an overwhelming amount of superwomen were attracted to the series and it makes us ask the question, why? It’s all about surrendering and letting go.

50 Shades Of Grey

The series focuses on a consensual BDSM relationship between Anna and Christian. For those of you unfamiliar, BSDM sex is a term for a variety of sexual practices that include bondage, discipline, dominance, submission, and sadism. It’s a rough, aggressive relationship with Christian Grey being completely in control of Anna, from the sex they have, the dates they go on, to the clothes she wears. Of course, there are BDSM relationships in the real world that can be healthy, but this requires open communication, experience, knowledge and maturity, something that wasn’t necessarily represented in the series.

Not only did the series highlight the lack of experience and maturity as Anna naively enters the relationship, but it also highlights Christian’s manipulative behaviour. From stalking and using his power and influence to keep tabs on Anna, it shows how abusive this type of relationship can turn into.

So with these red flags, why were so many women enthralled by this series for the past decade?

What Does It Really Mean?

It has to do with superwomen and Feminine Burnout. In today’s world, superwomen are running on empty- they’re stressed, overwhelmed, overworked and are expected to take on more at work and at home. This is when Feminine Burnout happens - the kind of exhaustion that isn’t cured by a good night’s sleep or a vacation. It permeates deep into our physical, mental and spiritual health.

So, when 50 Shades of Grey was introduced to the world, these superwomen fell in love with the fantasy of being totally and completely cared for. To be able to walk away from all responsibilities and just have it be handled by someone else. To not have to deal with the daily grind, and instead just live a life of unburdened pleasure. To be able to experience safety, security and surrender.

Surrendering

What the series depicts well is the act of complete surrender in order to receive more pleasure - this is something that superwomen often struggle with. When superwomen are asked what they want, it can be very difficult and even overwhelming to answer the question. Why? Because oftentimes what they desire doesn’t follow the life they’re living now and they are scared to take the leap and start over to achieve the life they desire.

It can be extremely hard to give up and trust, but the beauty of 50 Shades of Grey was that Anna didn’t even have to decide to give it all up - it was just handed to her. Total and complete surrender.

Pleasure comes when you learn to receive and surrender to the feminine. When you can accept, enjoy and receive moments of love, wealth, rest, time and health - those moments can happen each and every day. This is what Anna represented for so many women.

If You Need Help…

If you’re looking for balance in your life and relationships, if you want to stop feeling overwhelmed and overwhelmed and just want to start receiving pleasure, we recommend starting with The Pleasure Collective. Take a look at our available programs thepleasurecollective.com/programs. 

Be sure to listen to episode #54 on Apple or Spotify to learn more about Dr. J’s insights on pleasure and 50 Shades of Grey.