#174- How Fingering Unlocks Female Pleasure, Better Sex, and Lasting Libido

Fingering Your Way to More Pleasure

Before the pressure. Before the performance. Before checkbox sex. Pleasure used to come naturally. But somewhere along the way, pleasure got buried under mental gymnastics, pressure to perform, and trying to earn intimacy instead of receiving it.
High-achieving women learned to lead, fix, plan, and succeed, but those same traits are now silently killing intimacy, libido, and connection.

The truth?
You do not have a libido problem. You have a pleasure problem.

Find The Pleasure Principles podcast on Apple, Spotify or Amazon Music. 

The Hidden Cost of Performing Instead of Receiving

High-achieving women are master performers. You lead the meetings. You fix the house leaks. You run the team, the family, the empire.
But when it comes to intimacy, those same skills work against you.

Instead of receiving, you plan.
Instead of feeling, you think.
Instead of relaxing into your body, you're stuck performing in your head.

The cost of this high-functioning success is high: disconnection, low desire, sex that feels more like a task than a turn-on.

As Jordin Wiggins puts it, "The same traits that get you the promotions, the accolades, the praise; they are killing your intimacy."

And if you're feeling exhausted, numb, or like you’re craving a connection you can’t seem to reach, you are not broken.
You have simply been trained to perform instead of receive.

Why Fingering Matters More Than We Were Taught

Before penetrative sex, before goal-oriented mutual orgasms, before performance... There was something else.
Slow, teasing manual stimulation, what we used to call "finger blasting" in high school, held a powerful role in awakening female pleasure.

And somewhere along the way, we forgot.

Jordin explains why fingering, or manual stimulation, works better for female arousal than the rushed, checkbox sex many women endure today. The female pleasure and arousal cycle requires slowness, buildup, and emotional tuning; this is not jackhammering toward orgasm.

Culturally, we have been fed a broken script. Penetration was framed as the goal, leaving the true design of female pleasure out of the conversation entirely. However, a cultural shift is now underway.

From viral Bridgerton scenes to mainstream conversations around sensual touch, fingering is finally reclaiming its place in the spotlight as a central, not secondary, part of sexual wellness.

What Happens When Women Lead With Pleasure Instead of Performance

When women slow down and allow pleasure to lead, everything changes.

Fingering, when done with knowledge of female arousal and anatomy, becomes an invitation back into your body, especially after a long, overstimulating day. It allows you to reconnect to sensation, to your breath, to your desire, without the pressure to perform.

Pleasure brings more pleasure.
Good sex. The kind that starts with a deep exhale and ends with your legs shaking is not just a treat. It is a rewiring of your nervous system toward connection, intimacy, and lasting desire.

As Dr. Jordin reminds us: "Women want sex that is good for them, period."
And the more good sex you experience, the more your body craves and creates space for more.

Practical Takeaways: 5 Tips to Reclaim Your Pleasure with Fingering

If you are ready to stop performing and start receiving, these tips will help you reconnect with your body, your desire, and your pleasure:

1. Explore first, external before internal.
   Spend time exploring the inner thighs, stomach, hips, and especially the clitoris before anything goes inside. Pleasure starts on the surface. [Add Episode]

2. Use lube. Always.
   Fingers do not self-lubricate. High-quality, body-safe lubrication enhances sensation, protects sensitive tissue, and makes everything more enjoyable. [ADD LUBE GUIDE]

3. Slow down.
   Speed kills sensation and depth. Slow, rhythmic motion builds arousal, openness, and deeper orgasmic potential. There’s no need to rush.

4. Respond to cues.
   Whether solo or with a partner, tune in to the body’s responses: breath, moans, and muscle movement. Let pleasure guide the pace.

5. Try different types of stimulation.
   Combine external (clitoral) and internal (G-spot) stimulation. Allow for blended orgasms without getting stuck in goal-setting or performance.

Pleasure is not a formula to perfect. It’s a living, changing experience to explore.

Your Invitation to Reconnect

You deserve sex that starts with a deep exhale and ends with your legs shaking, not another checkbox moment, not another performance to pull off.

If you are ready to stop fixing what was never broken, to master your pleasure, and to experience the intimacy you have been craving, the Pleasure Principles Group Coaching is for you.

Join the 12-week cohort beginning this June, limited to just 10 women ready to move from high achievers to receivers.

Check out The Pleasure Principles Group Coaching [CLICK HERE TO CHECK OUT THE JUNE COHORT]

Connect with Jordin

Pleasure Centered Anatomy and Finding Your G Spot (Episode 102) [LISTEN HERE]

Grab my FREE The Lube Guide [HERE]

Instagram [@drjordinwiggins]