Closing the Orgasm Gap

One in two women suffer from sexual dysfunction in their lifetime. They lack desire, they struggle to get turned on. 

Maybe they have pain with sex and difficulty achieving orgasm. This is a topic that mostly gets swept under the rug. 

Women go to their doctors in a cloak of shame and secrecy. And they're told things that don't work (and frankly, are quite condescending).  Things like have a glass of wine, try more foreplay, use lube, or even be nicer to your partner.

When we get ‘solutions’ like this, we suffer in silence. We feel alone, we feel broken, so it’s natural to fake pleasure in orgasm. Or avoid intimacy altogether.

Does this sound like you?

Do you think living without pleasure is normal, especially as you get older, or after children? 

Do you think not being able to reach orgasm is normal? Are you ready to settle for this being how your life is long term?

These things are common, but they’re not normal.

Here are five things that you have to address in your relationship if you have have difficulty orgasming:

1. Stop putting time pressure on yourself 

It is frustrating to be the partner who's constantly worrying about annoying your partner by not coming fast enough. If you catch yourself worrying about how long you’re taking or ‘what if I can’t come?’, you’re taking yourself out of the moment, out of the sensation and further away from achieving orgasm. It’s a cycle that keeps repeating itself when we keep having the same sex but expecting different results.

Learning more about the average women’s body when it comes to sex can help you support your partner in reaching orgasm, and help you connect as a couple. We have been conditioned to think the male way of being turned on is the only way. Women take longer to get turned on, but they also stay turned on for longer. 

Find out more tips on how to reduce the pressure on your partner by tuning in!

2. Try different types of stimulation

If 70% of women do not reach orgasm from penetration alone, what are the chances that your partner can? Let’s bust the myth that internal orgasms are better than clitoral. Listen up to learn why it’s the same thing and let’s do away with that belief that penis and vagina orgasms are somehow better than orgasms using your hands, a toy or oral sex!

3. Change up your foreplay

How do you and your partner view foreplay? Is it just a means to get to penetration, something that you rush through, or something that you don't even bother doing? Think back to when you first started dating or when you first started exploring each other’s bodies and there was kissing and touching and how much of a turn on that was. Women's desire is often like a pot coming to a boil, NOT like a light switch you can turn on and off. Find out why a different frame of mind can help build up desire during foreplay.

4. Stop worrying about finishing at the same time

We’ve been trained to believe that the perfect sex is when you come together. But it’s time to change this mindset. You don't have to feel bad about your partner doing some extra work to get you off after they come or doing the work first to make sure that you orgasm. Listen and learn why mutual orgasm shouldn’t be your end goal. 

5. Mix it up

Women are more likely to reach orgasm when sex includes deep kissing, manual stimulation, or oral stimulation. Find out why making out and getting your hands and mouths involved gives women a better chance of reaching orgasm.  

For more on what to do to unblock your orgasm, listen to episode # 13 on Apple. Or on Spotify. 

I hope you feel comfortable listening to this episode with your partner, or that you learned something about yourself. Most importantly, I hope you learned that you are not alone and having difficulty reaching orgasm is a common problem that impacts many relationships.

Struggling to reach an orgasm is such a common issue that I’m going to be running a 2-hour intensive workshop on orgasms and pleasure. We're going to teach you the sexual health education that you should have had to achieve orgasm. We are going to teach you how to be in your feminine energy and receive pleasure. 

We're going to teach you how to get out of your head and into your body. And we're going to teach you some communication tips for how to start integrating these things with your partner. 

Go to  https://www.thepleasurecollective.com/orgasmmasterclass to register. Remember, you deserve love, connection, and better sex than you ever thought possible.