7 Tips For More Pleasurable Anal Sex

Anal sex. It isn’t for everyone, that’s for sure. If you’re uncomfortable reading about or talking about the topic - that’s a sure fire sign that you need to start getting curious. Now this doesn’t necessarily mean that you need to rush into trying anal sex right away or at all, but take this as an opportunity to explore your beliefs and opinions, explore your pleasure, and see what your resistance to the topic is telling you.

Maybe you’re intrigued, maybe you’ve tried it and it didn’t go to play, maybe you feel shame around it because that’s how you’ve been told to feel. It’s important to be open minded and to trust the process, because when we open ourselves up to receiving love and pleasure, we open ourselves up to so much more.

Common Misconceptions

While anal sex is becoming much more mainstream with more and more couples talking about it or trying it, there are still some major misconceptions when it comes to the topic.

First off, it is NOT what you see in porn. Even sex performers who are actually having this type of sex don’t just jump in ready to go. There’s lots of prep work involved, practicing, stretching, taking breaks and working their way up. What you’re seeing in porn isn’t realistic, so you can’t expect to just jump in and have a pleasurable experience. In order to achieve a pleasurable experience, you need to have some serious foreplay and deep trust with your partner.

You need to be in the right space physically and mentally when deciding to have anal sex or else you can do a lot of damage (tearing, pelvic pain, etc.). You should never feel pressured or convinced into doing it. Enthusiastic yes’ only. When you’re mentally not enjoying it, you’ll tense up and it won’t be an enjoyable experience.

Tips for Anal Sex Tips

1. Lube and lots of it. Silicone-based lubes are the best bet (check out our blog on different lubes here). Lube will help to reduce the chance of tears and makes the experience more fun and pleasurable for you both.
   
   
2. Stay Present. It’s not the time to have a glass of wine, you want to be present in your body as you explore and find out what you like. You don’t want the sensations dulled. Definitely don’t use numbing cream because you want to be able to listen to your body and what it’s telling you and with numbing cream you’re more likely to injure yourself and have a less pleasurable experience.
   
   
3. Use condoms. Condoms not only provide protection against STI’s, but it also protects from the fecal matter that carries bacteria.
   
   
4. Go Slow. It’s not a race, so make sure you’re taking it one step at a time. Remember that you’re in control, when you say stop your partner has to listen. It’s imperative that you feel safe and secure and trust your partner for this to be successful.
   
   
5. Relax Your Body. Practice deep breaths, squeezing and releasing, surrendering and letting go. You need to breathe through your tension or else it won’t be a fun experience. Take it as an opportunity to connect with your partner.
   
   
6. Communicate. This isn’t the type of sex that you can just have on a whim. You NEED to talk about it beforehand - set your boundaries and expectations and know that you can bail or stop at any point if you want to. Trust, listening and communication are all very important.
   
   
7. Expect The Unexpected. You need to remember that it may not go perfectly (especially the first time). You may need to stop and try again another time. You also need to keep in mind that with anal sex, there is always a chance of fecal matter, but those horror stories you hear are over-exaggerated. If your partner is going to be grossed out about normal bodily functions, then it can end up breaking the trust between you and leave you feeling ashamed.

All in all, if you’re feeling intense pain or there’s blood and tearing, you’re not doing it right. 

Be Open To Receiving Pleasure

It’s important to be open to exploring different ways of experiencing pleasure (whether that includes anal sex or not). When we open ourselves to receiving pleasure, we’re opening ourselves up to receiving so much more acceptance, better sex, better health and more wealth. Sex and pleasure are the gateway to receiving the life you want to live.

For better sex and more connected relationships, work with us. We’ll help you learn that you’re not broken, what you’ve been taught is. Visit thepleasurecollective.com/programs to learn more. 

Listen to episode #50 of The Pleasure Principles Podcast on Apple or Spotify.