#196 Why Loyalty Without Reciprocity Isn’t Love

I have been hearing from so many women lately who are at a breaking point. Some are separating. Some are trying to rebuild after infidelity. Others are still in marriages but exhausted by cycles that never change. Many are trying to date again in this climate with super traits. No matter where they are, they all share the same truth. They cannot continue in the same way.

They are done.

(

LISTEN ON APPLE | LISTEN ON SPOTIFY | LISTEN ON AMAZON MUSIC

Take the FREE SUPER TRAITS QUIZ HERE

At my most recent retreat, we joked about blaming it on eclipse energy, like who we were before is not who we are now. But the truth is that it is not the moon. It is accountability. It is action. These women are ready to stop starving themselves and finally rebuild.

The Role of Super Traits

Super traits are qualities that make you successful. Empathy, loyalty, forgiveness, and hard work are key factors that enable women to rise to the top of their careers. They are why, when you leave a role, it takes two people to replace you. They are survival tools that help you endure. But they also cost you.

Without understanding them, you can spend years and thousands of dollars on therapy, communication tools, or hormone testing, repeating the same loops without ever getting to the root of the problem.

Loyalty as a Super Trait

Loyalty is one of the most common super traits I see. It is beautiful. It makes you dependable, trustworthy, and the woman who always stands by you through thick and thin. I used to be called loyal to a fault and thought it was a compliment. The truth is that when loyalty is not reciprocated, it becomes a leash. It keeps you tied to relationships and situations that are already draining you. It costs you your peace, your health, your well-being, and your intimacy.

Stories of Staying Too Long

One client carried the entire weight of her marriage. She was the primary breadwinner, managed the household, and raised three children while her husband checked out. He crossed boundaries with internet relationships, promised therapy, and slid back into old patterns. She came to me because she thought she had an intimacy issue.

The truth was simple. Her body shut down because she did not feel safe or supported.

Another client lived in a push-pull cycle for years. The only time she felt her husband truly present was during sex. Outside of that, he pulled away. Years of therapy did not solve it. Looking through the lens of super traits and power dynamics gave her clarity in ninety minutes. She could see what was hers to hold and what was not. That clarity gave her peace.

Why Therapy Alone Does Not Work

Superwomen try everything. They do the communication courses. They do the hormone panels. They do the therapy. They listen to the podcasts and read the books. They do all the right things and still feel unseen. Without understanding super traits, couples therapy and sex therapy often scramble it even more. T

he problem is not desire or communication. The problem is survival skills that keep women locked in loops.

The First Step to Healing

Healing does not always mean leaving. If both partners are willing to do their healing work, a pleasure-centered relationship that is mutual and alive is always the goal. But you do not need to leave to begin healing. You can start right where you are by learning about your super traits and naming the patterns. With clarity, you can decide with confidence what is yours to carry and what is not.

Loyalty is not the problem. Loyalty is powerful when it is mutual. It is safe when it is chosen. But when it comes from survival, it costs you everything. Loyalty without reciprocity is not love. It is self-abandonment.

Your Next Step

If you are done with the old way and ready to rebuild, take the Super Trait Quiz. It only takes a few minutes and gives you a detailed report of your results.

Then join me for the Super Trait Masterclass on October 2 at 1 pm Eastern. Together, we will identify your super traits, pinpoint what is really happening in your relationships, and provide you with the first step to break the cycle of repeating the same patterns.