#193 How Tone Policing Leads to Loss of Intimacy and Low Libido

If He Cannot Handle Your Tone, He Cannot Handle Your Desire

The Hidden Impact of Tone Policing.

There are a few things that are always true after working with thousands of women with super traits. One of them is simple and powerful. If he cannot handle your tone, he is never going to be able to handle the full force of your desire, your orgasm, and your passion.

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Take the FREE Super Traits Quiz HERE to discover your top traits and learn how they are shaping your relationships

Tone policing is not about communication. It is about control. When your needs and frustrations get dismissed because of how you said them instead of what you actually said, your nervous system learns it is not safe to be fully expressed. You start to feel like you are too much, too harsh, too negative. That message, over time, teaches your body to shut down.

How Tone Policing Shuts Down Intimacy and Desire

That same shutdown shows up in the bedroom. It is the reason so many women with super traits feel exhausted, resentful, and sexless in their marriages. When your voice gets policed, your body learns it is not safe to let go. If you cannot be too much in your tone, you will not feel safe to be too much in your sexual expression.

Desire does not grow when you are filtered and contained. Desire grows in a relationship where the body knows it is free to express, to cry, to roar, and to be wild. If you are performing in sex instead of receiving and being present, with pleasure tone policing is one of the reasons.

You don’t need to leave to start healing, but you do need a new map. Claim your spot inside the Creating Pleasure-Centred Relationships for Women with Super Traits Group and start building the pleasure-centered relationship you deserve. Join us in the Pleasure Principles™ Group Program with Dr. Jordin Wiggins ND HERE  Let's start rebuilding Safety, Desire & Intimacy. BEGINS OCTOBER 15, 2025

Why Therapy and Communication Tips Miss the Mark

Many women ask why therapy or communication strategies do not fix the problem. They have read the books, tried the formulas, softened their tone, and rehearsed their words. However, they still end up shut down.

The reason is that therapy and communication tips often miss the real issue. Power dynamics, not hormones, not stress, and not communication formulas are the actual barrier to intimacy. If you are a woman with super traits, you are likely over-functioning for an under-functioning partner. That unequal balance is what drains your desire and makes sex feel like another task instead of a place of freedom.

Super Traits and Extractive Relationships

Women with super traits are empathetic, loyal, responsible, and forgiving. These gifts make you successful in your career and deeply caring in life. But in relationships, they can set you up to give more than you receive. When this happens, your relationship becomes extractive instead of pleasure-centered.

You may find yourself shrinking at the dinner table and in the bedroom. You keep mistaking peace for safety while your body quietly shuts down. Over time, this shows up as low libido, difficulty with orgasm, hormone issues, autoimmune disease, and even breast cancer. The cost of extraction is always too high.

Learning a New Way

This does not mean you have to leave your relationship. It does mean you need a new framework. One that understands super traits and power dynamics so you can stop fixing the wrong problem and finally create the intimacy and orgasms you crave.

Healing begins when you see tone policing for what it really is. A subtle form of control that teaches your body it is not safe. When you name it and shift the dynamic, you open space for safety and connection. And when your body feels safe, intimacy becomes possible again.

Taking the Next Step

If you are wondering why you can orgasm alone but not with your partner, why you feel shut down, or why your marriage feels sexless, this is the clarity you have been waiting for. You are not broken. You are living inside dynamics that were never built to honor your super traits.

Take the Super Traits Quiz HERE to discover your top traits and how they are shaping your relationships. You can also apply for the Fall Group Coaching Cohort, a 10-week live program where we reset pleasure beliefs and create a relationship that is safe enough for you to share your truth and express your desires.

You don’t need to leave to start healing, but you do need a new map. Claim your spot inside the Creating Pleasure-Centred Relationships for Women with Super Traits Group and start building the pleasure-centered relationship you deserve. Join us in the Pleasure Principles™ Group Program with Dr. Jordin Wiggins ND HERE  Let's start rebuilding Safety, Desire & Intimacy. BEGINS OCTOBER 15, 2025

Take the FREE Super Trait QUIZ to discover the hidden traits keeping you stuck in relationship dynamics that drain your desire.

PRIVATE COACHING- Success, intimacy, pleasure,  you don’t have to choose. Learn how to create a deeper connection and better sex without sacrificing who you are or what you’ve built. [APPLY HERE]

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