#184 Multiple Orgasms Aren’t About Skill, They’re About Safety

There is no faster way to make a CEO or a surgeon squirm than handing them a crystal dildo at one of my retreats. And it’s always the same look. The new clients stare at it and ask, 'What do I do with this? What are the steps? Where’s the training video?

Because when we’re high-achieving, people-pleasing women, our pleasure centers are offline. We are disconnected from our bodies. We’re focused on getting it right. Focused on performance. Focused on doing. And that is the exact opposite energy that is required for orgasm, intimacy, connection, and turn-on.

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You’re Doing It Backwards

This is for the woman who has maybe tried the jade eggs. Downloaded the tantra workshops. Forced herself to initiate more. Saved the sex tips on Instagram and followed the communication scripts. You’re trying to fix it. You’re trying to figure it out. You’re looking for techniques.

However, the truth is that if you are a superwoman with super traits, you are doing it backwards.

If your nervous system does not feel safe, no amount of sex skills is going to help.

Pleasure Is Not a Performance

You don’t need to perform. You need to learn how to receive. Pleasure is not a performance. And multiple orgasms are not the goal unless you want them to be, but they are a byproduct of a safe, regulated, receptive nervous system. A woman who can hold sensation in her body. A woman who can actually feel.

And high-achieving women, our nervous systems are anything but regulated. We are in our heads. Fixing. Planning. Ruminating. Centering everyone else’s experience.

Why the Tips Don’t Work

And I know this because I have worked with thousands of women over the last twelve years, and the tips and tricks and sex scripts do not work for women like us. That’s why I created the Pleasure Path.

Because most women are trying to jump to step three, they want better orgasms. They want to orgasm with their partner. They want to feel that rush again. But it won’t work unless we start at the beginning.

The Three Phases of the Pleasure Path

We start with Pleasure Basics. The sex education you should have had but didn’t. The truth about how your body works. Then we move into Pleasure Beliefs. All the conditioning that taught you to earn your pleasure, perform for it, and be perfect before you deserve to feel good. And then, only then, we reach Pleasure Mastery. Where orgasm becomes a way of being. Where the turn-on returns. Where sex becomes worth having again.

It’s Not in Your Head. It’s in Your Body.

You can’t skip the nervous system work. You can’t force yourself to want it. You can’t think your way to orgasm.

Your body needs to feel safe.

The Physician Who Just Wanted Rest

I worked with a woman recently who is a physician, a mother, the primary breadwinner in her relationship. Her husband told her their lack of intimacy was a real problem, and she was shocked. She thought everything was fine. She was focused on the kids, the calls, and the clinic. When I asked her what brings her joy, what turns her on, what she would define as pleasure, she said, Honestly, I just want a few days alone to rest.

That’s where we started. Not with multiple orgasms. Not with sex techniques. With nervous system regulation. Breathing. Slowness. Enjoying her coffee. Permission to receive without having to earn it.

And from there, things shifted. Her pleasure centers started to come back online. Her body began to feel safe. The turn on returned. And so did the connection.

You Are Not Broken

So if you are a high-functioning woman who can orgasm by yourself but not with a partner. Or you’re disconnected from your body entirely. If you’ve been performing in bed the same way you’ve been performing at work. This is your reminder that you are not broken.

You’re just stuck in go mode. And your body needs a different order.

Pleasure Basics. Pleasure Beliefs. Then Pleasure Mastery.

Take the First Step Back to Pleasure

This is the work. This is why the tips don’t work. This is why I created the Pleasure Path Assessment. So you can uncover your shutdown style. Your super traits. And begin the process of returning to your body.

You’ve spent your life centering everyone else. This is your permission to center yourself.

Because when you stop performing and start receiving, everything changes.

And yes, the orgasms come too.

Grab your live Pleasure Path Assessment and get the answers you've been looking for.

 [Grab your spot here.]

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